Bodyslams, bouncers and Beyonce: This is the story that didn't make it to print

Here's my deep dive on Auckland's biggest indoor arena that no one got to read.

My ex-boss, who ran the NZ Herald’s entertainment section at TimeOut for more than 20 years, remembers interviewing Beyonce and having to break some particularly distressing news to her and her Destiny’s Child band mates.

“I had to explain to them (that) they were playing in a tent,” he remembers telling Queen B, Kelly Rowlands and Michelle Williams about their first New Zealand show while on a three-way phone call with them in 2002.

Baillie remembers the gigantic pause on the other end of the line like it was yesterday.

“I don't know if it was Beyonce or Kelly who sounded the most surprised.”

In short, Baillie had to tell Destiny’s Child, the trio behind massive girl-power anthems like Independent Women, Pt 1 and Bootylicious, that they were set to play at Auckland’s Mt Smart Supertop for their headlining show here in 2002.

“It was basically a tent,” explains Baillie. He’s right. It was. Erected in a carpark next to Mt Smart Stadium in the early ‘90s, that tent was only supposed to be temporary. It was never supposed to become a permanent concert fixture, one that would attract acts like Missy Elliott and 50 Cent to Auckland.

“I saw MC Hammer in a tent. Not many people can say that,” laughs Baillie.

But back in 2002, that’s what happened. While we had a tonne of smaller venues, including the King’s Arms, Gallatos, St James and the Powerstation, for anything bigger, the choices were woeful.

Logan Campbell Centre, a weird old tin shed in Greenlane, held around 2500 people. North Shore Events Centre, an out-of-the-way sports venue that hosted gigs like Tool, The Chemical Brothers and the Beastie Boys, held about 4000. And that was about it.

Things were so dire that Oasis and Radiohead even played outside the Logan Campbell Centre on a makeshift field just so they could fit a few more people into their late-90s shows.

A tent a full 20 minutes from Auckland’s city centre was as good as it got. There was no multipurpose indoor arena that could host thousands of fans. There was nothing even close.

So the Supertop became the default venue for big acts. I went to my first ever gig in that tent, catching a train from Whanganui with a bunch of mates for a brilliant, life-changing experience at a Pearl Jam show in 1996.

I lost many a night in there at the Big Day Out, when it became the Boiler Room and hosted sweat-drenched sets by Dizzee Rascal, M.I.A., Basement Jaxx and many more that my age-addled brain can’t remember.

Anyway, when Spark Arena opened as Vector Arena in 2007, it was a game-changer.

Suddenly, Auckland became a major attraction for touring international acts. Spark opened its doors to Justin Timberlake and Pink and the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Rihanna and the Foo Fighters and Taylor Swift and a reformed Guns N Roses and tonnes more. It was ridiculous.

Most of them wouldn’t have bothered making the trip if it wasn’t for Spark Arena.

So, last year, I thought this fact should be recognised. Spark Arena has done many good things for Auckland. It had just celebrated its 10-year anniversary and I wanted to pay tribute to the people who worked behind the scenes, the security guards and the bartenders and the roadies and the stage managers and the clean-up crews who turned up and did the job while the people on stage got all the credit.

Surely, those guys would have good stories.

Turns out, they did! I went along on a couple of non-concert days and interviewed anyone who would talk to me. It was great. I met the head cleaner who conquered his fear of heights by climbing up into the rafters after a gig one evening and shaking his way along one of the platforms that hold all the lights in place. He told me about all the needles and other revolting paraphernalia they find after shows.

I met the heads of security, a couple, who showed me the proper way to pull people out of a moshpit if punters are struggling to find their feet. They revealed they met each other during the venue’s first big gig - the Red Hot Chili Peppers in 2007 - and were now married. They were so shy and cute together. I loved them.

I met the owner of the venue who still jumps into moshpits occasionally. I met the head bartender who told me how he persuades drunks to calm down and stay at the show. I met the stage builders who had a shocker during a Disney on Ice show when all of the ice melted and blocked the venue’s drains. I talked to the woman who made all of Drake’s balls go up and down in sync.

I got to see all of the green rooms where the stars hang out backstage, and they told me about all of their crazy rider demands. Those stories were off the record, but buy me a beer and I’ll repeat them to you.

As a long-term music nerd, I absolutely freaking loved working on this story. It was a dream come true. Honestly, I couldn’t wait to get back to my desk and start writing. It was one of those ones that basically wrote itself.

But there was one bit of information that I loved the most, which is this: Spark Arena has a secret garden. Yes, out the back, to one side, is a path to a small, secluded space designed for artists to relax before a show.

It’s not big, it’s not plush, but there’s a seat and some fernery and an ashtray. In other words, it’s a serene place for superstars to meditate before they go on stage and deliver the goods in front of 12,000 screaming fans.

Kendrick Lamar apparently hung out there on his own before his titanic 2018 performance. I loved imagining our generation’s answer to Shakespeare hunched over, hoodie over his head as he mind-pictured his performance and did whatever rap gurus like him do before a show.

Good story eh?

Sadly, at the beginning of the year, just as I was locking it in place, it all fell apart. I don’t know why. I tried to make it happen, keep all the balls juggled and all the plates spun. Sometimes, things just don’t pan out.

“We’ve moved on,” was the only official response I received.

So here it is, I guess, told in a different way, to a few less people who might have read it had I been able to write it in the way it was originally intended.

This Friday, I’m returning to Spark Arena to watch Benee perform to a sold out crowd.

I hope she hangs out in that secret garden and orders an insane amount of stuff on her rider and has a crazy stage built for her and tells everyone to mosh and then jumps right in there herself.

It’s my first gig in more than six months. I can’t wait.