I can't stop thinking about that damned dome

How can something so incredibly dumb be so insanely awesome too?

One morning at the end of last year, while attending a Las Vegas tech conference (it was work, promise), I pulled open the curtains of my hotel room. I looked up, admired the clear blue sky, then scanned over acres of hotel air conditioning units.

Life, for a very brief moment, felt OK.

Then I saw it: something massive and monstrous in the distance. It was clearly in the midst of construction. I took a photo because of course I did. Who the fuck builds a Death Star in the middle of the desert?

The Emperor would be pleased.

I had no idea what it was, but I asked around and soon found out: it was so incredibly idiotic I didn’t believe it at first. No one could. Someone was building a gigantic concert venue in the worst possible shape imaginable – a sphere.

Only in Vegas, I thought.

Yet, less than a year on from this thing looking like something Rebel forces would scoff at, here we are. The Las Vegas Sphere is a fully operational and entirely ridiculous entertainment complex. It contains 167,000 speakers, 168,000 square feet of high def LED lights, and one AI robot humanoid greeting people at the door.

It fits a lot of people. That dome is capable of hosting 20,000 fans, 17,000 of them in haptic seats, which rumble in time with the music. That dumb, half-finished jet black sphere is now capable of doing all of this…

My initial thoughts remained entirely negative. Mostly, I questioned the sound quality. Remember when Donald Glover came to New Zealand to perform in a round tent and everyone said the audio was awful? How about when Ratking played inside a circular silo at Laneway and there was so much echo it was unlistenable?

Concert venues aren’t round – they’re rectangular. They’re built that way for a reason: the acoustics. Curved walls are a sound person’s nightmare. The acoustics bounce up, down, and sideways. As Glover and Ratking discovered, it’s impossible to control the audio. So I dismissed the Las Vegas sphere as a gimmick.

And then the footage came out.

Holy freaking fuckity fuck.

This thing is incredible. It’s like Auckland’s iMax screen and the Stardome drank protein shakes together. It’s like someone dropped acid and got stuck permanently inside Apple’s Vision Pro VR goggles. It’s like James Cameron assembled the most immersive, widescreen spectacle ever. It’s, like, insanity.

Look at these reviews…

I want to go. I need to go. The big problem? Bono. It’s always bloody Bono. U2 have taken over the sphere for months. No one else is getting a turn. Their super expensive tickets are sold out months in advance. They’re stinking the place up with their earnestness. The sphere is awesome. The opening act is terrible. We need to eject U2 like we rejected their terrible iPhone album.

Imagine what any act who gives a fuck about visuals and makes good music could do inside the Sphere. How about Radiohead and their floating TV sets? The Chemical Brothers and their dancing robots? How about Tool and their Vicarious visuals, or Beyonce and her Renaissance world tour? Nine Inch Nails, Flume, Grimes and many more acts could all make that damned Sphere sing.

One Bono’s gone, I’m booking tickets to see the Sphere, as fast as I can. (Maybe, just for this?)

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A morning news wrangle…

• The festival is yet to confirm it but it seems likely Kelis will pull out of her Bay Dreams performances in 2024, meaning our summer festival lineups will lose something becoming increasingly rare: a female headliner. The ‘Milkshake’ singer has cancelled all upcoming performances, citing fatigue. “I was excited to be coming back to Australia and New Zealand and seeing you all again … I need to come off the road for a little while to regroup, to be the best mother, to be the best for myself and to thrive in the future,” Kelis told an Australian website.

• The third and final season of Reservation Dogs is finally coming to New Zealand screens, with Disney+ confirming it will land on October 25. Critics have already raved about the series, but the third has earned it more plaudits than ever. “Flawless,” declared one. Expect it to appear on best-of lists come December.

• I found this fascinating: half of all waking hours are now devoted to entertainment. Via his great Substack The Honest Broker, Ted Gioia reports stats that show 50% of everyone’s waking hours are spent engaging in entertainment services. Pleasingly, to me at least, there’s a 91% increase in live music spend too.

• Be wary of heading to your local cinema tomorrow: it’s likely to be completely and utterly swarming with Swifties desperate to take in what could become the film event of the year (yes, maybe topping Barbieheimer). The Eras Tour is three hours of Swift’s record-breaking show that won’t make it here. Good luck to all the ushers out there.

• We’re getting a Robbie Williams Netflix doco, produced by Ridley Scott. That felt as weird to type as it does to say out loud. The trailer looks very much in the style of the recent (and really good) David Beckham one: raw, intimate, heartfelt, funny.

• Clear your weekend (lol, what election?) as some of the biggest TV shows of the year land. Lessons in Chemistry, based on Bonnie Garmus’ best-selling book, debuts on Apple TV+, while The Fall of the House of Usher, the latest from horror shaman Mike Flanaghan, hits Netflix. I’m expecting big things from both.

• Finally, a plea: for the love of God, and, I guess, dogs, ignore Drake’s boring ass new album. Instead, tune your headphones to Earl Sweatshirt’s collab with The Alchemist, Voir Dire, which has finally hit streaming services. Tickets are still available for Earl’s Powerstation show on October 21. I’ve got mine … just saying.

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That’s it for today’s instalment of Boiler Room. If you liked it, and can afford to, please consider becoming a paying subscriber. I’d love to keep doing this.