You're subscribing to the wrong streaming service

It's the weekend, so it's time to sort that out.

So you’ve got your Netflix. You’ve watched all of Tiger King, including that terrible bonus episode hosted by Joel McHale’s buzzsaw haircut and filmed over Zoom. You’ve already seen every episode of the incredible Bojack Horsesman, you’ve checked out The End of the Fucking World, and you’ve chuckled at Glow, Bigmouth, Black AF and Russian Doll. You’ve even tossed around the term, “I clocked Netflix,” with your best buds.

I get it, Netflix addicts. There’s a lot of good TV on there. But there’s a lot of terrible stuff too. Bored one night, I started watching a documentary about Crossfit athletes. Turns out there are a lot of documentaries about Crossfit athletes on Netflix. I get recommended a new one every time I fire it up now. Check out these ridiculous, no-necked, steamed-chicken-and-broccoli addicts in action and don’t tell me I didn’t warn you.

You’ve probably got another streaming service in your life too. Did you pick up Lightbox for free with your Spark account, and use it to watch The Handmaid’s Tale? Did you get a free Apple TV+ sub with your new iPhone, give it one try then flag? Did you sign up for a free month of Disney TV+ to get all the Pixar movies and help the kids make it through lockdown? Did you get a Neon account to watch Game of Thrones and forget to switch it off?

I’m sorry to be the one to have to tell you this, but you’re doing it wrong. All of these streaming services are fine. They are, they’re fine. Some of them are very fine indeed. If you’ve never seen The Wire, or The Sopranos, or The Leftovers, or Curb Your Enthusiasm, or High Maintenance, or any of the rest of HBO’s top tier content, then what is wrong with you? Stop what you’re doing, go and get Neon immediately and catch up, you telly slowpoke.

But for everyone else, there’s one streaming service to rule them all, one that never makes it into the conversation, one that I’m not sure anyone really knows exists.

That service is called Amazon Prime Video.

I know what you’re thinking. You think Jeff Bezos is paying me to say this. I wish that were true. He’s not. No one is paying me to say this. These days, no one is paying me to say anything. That’s why I started Boiler Room, to say whatever I wanted. So I’ll say it again: the best streaming service your money can buy is Amazon Prime Video, and you should definitely subscribe to it immediately.

Why? Just look at the facts. For starters, it’s dirt cheap, just US$5.99 (NZ$9.90) a month. Unless you scored a free Apple TV+ or Lightbox subscription, that makes it the cheapest streaming service around.

Secondly, unlike Netflix, APV places emphasis on quality over quantity. Its hit rate is far higher and that means its ratio of good drama shows far outweighs its misses. Go watch Billy Bob Thornton steal every scene in Goliath. Check out Anthony Starr and Karl Urban smashing each other to pieces in The Boys. Definitely binge Julia Roberts’ big TV return in Homecoming, a murky military mystery based on a hit podcast.

Then there’s Undone, which is just superb, unlike anything I’ve seen before. I mean, it’s beautiful. Just look at it.

That not enough? The Man in the High Castle, The Expanse, ZeroZeroZero, Tales From the Loop, Sneaky Pete, Upload and Bosch are also worth your time. I also hear good things about The Marvellous Mrs Maisel, but that one doesn’t have enough robots in it for me to recommend.

APV - yes, it really does sound like an acronym for a sexually transmitted disease, which is not good - also has the best show made in the past 10 years. I’m talking about Fleabag. You haven’t seen Fleabag? Go and see Fleabag now. Already seen it? Go see it again. It’s an order. Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s two-season comedy is just that good.

There’s another important reason Amazon Prime Video is about to be on everyone’s radar, and that’s their billion-dollar Lord of the Rings TV show. Thanks to Peter Jackson’s double trilogies, I’ve had a lifetime’s worth of hobbits and elfs and wizards and rings of fire thank you very much, so I don’t care so much for this one. But it’s probably keeping a heck of a lot of New Zealand’s on and off-screen talent employed, and that’s something I do care about, so I’m okay with it.

But that’s a long way away anyway. There’s plenty of time to watch all kinds of good stuff before Frodo and co take over the massive gaping hole left by Game of Thrones. Time, in fact, for you to sign up and watch everything I’ve just talked about.

It’s the weekend after all. We’re still in level three. You deserve to watch the best stuff. So go on, treat yourself, you deserve it.

• Hi! This is my third post for Boiler Room, a forum dedicated to covering music, television, movies, video games and other cool things I like. If you like it too, please let me know in the comments, or share it with your friends and sign up to my mailing list. I’ll only send you cool shit - promise!