I skipped the Cowboy Carter hype machine and didn't miss a thing.

Waiting an extra week to hear Beyoncé's new album was absolutely worth it.

On the Friday, as everyone with an internet connection attempted to generate a hot take that would hit the algorithmic sweet spot, the release-day hype-machine went full Chernobyl…

On the Saturday, with only enough time to give the album’s 27 songs a couple of spins each, the backlash began in earnest…

By Sunday, things had just gotten weird…

Right now, it has been exactly 10 days since Beyoncé released Cowboy Carter to a shitstorm tornado of bad headlines, terrible feels, clickbait chaos and vibes-based throw downs, each hot take determined to find the bottom of the barrel first.

It already feels like her 12th album has been through so many life cycles it’s been out for 10 months, not just a week and change.

I couldn’t take it. I couldn’t take any of it.

So, once I saw those first headlines drop, I decided to do something I’ve never done before.

I checked out.

For the first seven days after Cowboy Carter’s release, I didn’t give it a single spin.

Sure, I was tempted.

Yes, I heard snippets of songs, received messages from friends, and had algorithms serve me up some pretty forceful suggestions.

The hype machine tried to get me to listen.

But I refused. I waited.

I know this is a strange stance for someone who writes predominantly about music to take.

So why’d I do it?

Perhaps I’m just sick of the inevitability of a major album release cycle these days: the hype and acclaim, followed by the doubt and criticism, as everyone throws out so many opinions they all become meaningless. (All this is going to happen again in just two weeks when you-know-who releases The Tortured Poets Department.)

Maybe it’s my recent junking of social media that’s made me question how I spend my time, carefully consider what I watch and listen to, and where I put my energy. (I’ve found, just weeks into this experiment, my enthusiasm waning for short, loud, angry outbursts and am instead seeking deeper and more meaningful interactions.)

Possibly it’s a NZ Herald editor’s words still ringing in my ears after the surprise release of Lemonade in 2016. “Can you call Beyoncé,” she asked me, as if I had the world’s biggest pop star on speed dial. “We need to find out who ‘Becky with the good hair’ is.” (No, she wasn’t joking, and yes, I did try.)

Maybe I’m 45 and just can’t be fucked with any of this anymore.

So, for a full week, I went about my life as if Cowboy Carter didn’t exist. Then I carved out some free time with my headphones to sit down and give it the attention it deserves.

Then I listened to it again.

And again.

My persistence paid off. Freed from the chaos, I heard an album unsullied from everyone else’s opinions. I got to form my own thoughts, have my own feels and experience an album the way I’m guessing it was always intended.

What did I think?

Great question.

You’ve already heard everyone else’s opinions.

This time, you really don’t need mine.

A superstacked Monday news special…

• A Spice Girl is coming to town. Mel C, aka Sporty Spice, will perform a DJ set at The Studio on May 10. If you’re wondering what a Mel C DJ night is like you may want to stream her Ibiza set from August before you pick up your Adidas tracksuit. (Yes, she plays Spice Girl songs.) Tickets are $59; they’re available here.

  

• I still remember the first time Shapeshifter sold out Auckland’s Town Hall in the early 2000s and what a big deal it was for them. For their 25th anniversary this winter, they’re doing it again on June 29, with shows in Christchurch on June 14, and Wellington on June 27. Details and tickets are available here.

• All you Trent Reznor and Nine Inch Nails nerds (relax, I’m one) should go read this GQ cover story with Atticus Ross immediately. There’s a new album coming, among other headlines. But there’s also this: “Why do we want to do this? And the reason is because we both feel the most in touch with God ...”

• Tyler the Creator! Lana Del Ray! The Beths! I will be firmly glued to my couch this coming weekend as the Coachella weekend one livestream kicks off. I swear YouTube will charge us for this thing soon but right now it’s free, it’s amazing, and you can now watch four stages on the one screen. Here are the details.

• Don’t forget to pick up Idles tickets when they go on sale today at 1pm. They’re playing Auckland Town Hall on January 16 on the back of new album, Tangk.

• Were you one of the few who missed Synthony’s biggest show yet in Auckland Domain over summer? Don’t fret: there’s a full stream of the show on YouTube.

• I covered all the 90s covers bands doing big business recently. Now, there’s a Michael Jackson tribute show coming in September and the impersonator, William Hall, is playing major venues. Details here.

• Australia’s music festival industry is in full meltdown mode. Just a week after Splendour in the Grass pulled the plug, Mona Foma has been cancelled after 16 years with the founder saying “the spell has worn off”. Details are here.

• Coming up this week: SZA kicks off three dates at Spark Arena on Saturday, the same night Skillet perform at the Powerstation, and Earth Tongue hit Whammy Bar. For more local gig announcements in Auckland, you should sign up to Poco Moto’s excellent Instagram account, where they’re compiled every Friday.

• Finally, just a few weeks back Kim Gordon released her second solo album The Collective and it absolutely slays: trap beats, doom-metal guitars, the kind of jaded lyrics that can only come from a woman who’s been through what she’s been through. Here’s ‘Bye Bye’ live and goddamn it’s even better than the recorded version. Tour, please, immediately…

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