Your official winter gig guide has landed.

No, things are not calming down just because it's cold now.

Earlier this morning, as I slid on my shoes and jacket and prepared to walk the dog, I pulled back the curtains and realised something.

It’s cold now.

It’s dark too.

Daylight Savings switches over next weekend.

Things are getting chill.

Which is a good thing. Our bodies – and our wallets – need to recover from the most ridiculous summer of live music we’ve had in living memory, with more concerts and festivals than ever before.

This shit is supposed to be over. We should be done here. We’re meant to be heading into a lull, the time we stay home, pull on oversized hoodies, make full use of our couches and savvy switch across streaming services like there’s no tomorrow.

But, no.

Not this winter.

Promoters continue to say a resounding “fuck that” to how things used to be.

Just like our peak summer live music boom, we’ve got a winter looming that is determined to make sure you do not stay home and spill fried chicken down your shirt.

We’re following our busiest live summer of music with what is lining up to be the busiest winter yet too.

SZA is on her way for three Spark Arena shows. Sleater Kinney are coming. There’s the film festival and the comedy festival. Jerry Seinfeld, Ali Wong and Chelsea Handler are all on their way.

Smaller venues around town are packed full of acts, and bigger ones are booking up fast too.

So, to help you work out where to go and what to see, I’ve compiled a list of the best reasons to leave your house over the next six months.

There’s a lot of them, and there are almost certainly many more on the way,.

So let’s get into it…

SZA, Spark Arena, April 13, 15 & 16.

I spent $527.44 on two floor tickets for SZA’s Saturday night show in Auckland, which sets a record for the most I have ever spent on a ticket to see a single artist. I have no regrets because her last show here in 2017 remains a top-five moment: a magical combination of a completely devoted fanbase, that voice, and those songs. Her stage show looks legit. Monday and Tuesday are sold out; tickets for SZA’s Saturday show are here.

Beth Orton, The Powerstation, April 20.

If you’d like your colder months to be ushered in with wistful lullabies, haunted melodies and folksie meanderings, Beth Orton is the lady to do that. She may be responsible for The Chemical Brothers’ best song but there won’t be any block rockin’ beats on display in Auckland on April 20 (or Wellington, April 21), just gentle, warming, introspective songs delivered by a true veteran. Tickets are available here.

Sleater Kinney, The Powerstation, May 15.

It was so early in January that I’d only just got my head around the fact it was now 2024. That’s when Sleater Kinney, the all-female trio-turned-duo, released their best album yet. Little Rope is tight, concise, ragged and ravaged, a rip-snorting grunge-flecked anthem-filled classic. It’s the thing I’ve listened to most this year, so of course I’m going to go see them play this thing live. You gotta go. Tickets are available here.

Jungle, Spark Arena, May 15.

There’s no denying it: Jungle are coming at the exact wrong time of year. Their lush, funk-filled summer fun should be seen in a summery meadow with a cold beer in hand, not an indoor arena with air con blasting in May. Still, if there’s one band that can shake off a dose of the SADS, it’s this one. Tickets are only $90 and available here.

Lord Apex, The Tuning Fork, May 22.

You’ve got plenty of choices when it comes to underground rap talent visiting us in winter, with Oddisee playing Neck of the Woods on May 10, and Mos Def (see below) coming in June. If you’re after jazzed-out, soul-laced rap flexes, Lord Apex is my pick. Last year’s The Good Fight is his best record yet, and tickets are just $65. They’re here.

Yasiin Bey, The Powerstation, June 7.

I’ve seen Mos Def play twice: once opening for DJ Shadow at the St James in 2006, and at his own Powerstation show in 2011. Neither were great. But his return to the Powerstation on June 7 is billed as something else: an estate-approved tribute to the late, great rapper MF Doom, with a spectacular setlist. This is the biggest wild card on my list, but it could be well worth a $100 punt. Tickets are available here.

Xzibit, D12, Obie Trice, Trust Arena, June 29.

Back in 2016, Xzibit came out as a low-key afternoon opener at Raggamuffin. He left having been treated like a God. It turns out West Aucklanders freaking love the Pimp My Ride host, and he’s doing it all again on June 29, this time with D12 and Obie Trice in tow. (If you watch the video above, you can see me and my seven-year-old at the 0.33 second mark. Cute!) Tickets are cheap at $99 and available here.

Ali Wong, The Civic, July 8 & 9.

She’s the most viciously caustic comedian currently on tour, and she also has one of the best Netflix series of the past year to her name. Expect beef to be unveiled at Ali Wong’s first New Zealand tour, with two shows at The Civic. Her first show’s nearly sold out; the second, confirmed for July 9, has plenty of tickets available.

Nirvana Tribute (UK), Galatos, July 27.

I covered the tribute band mayhem recently when I interviewed Sabotage Theory, a Christchurch-based Soundgarden and Rage Against the Machine covers band in hot demand. I have it on good authority that Nirvana Tribute is as good as you’re going to get when it comes to seeing Nirvana live again. Tickets to see the UK covers band are $60; they’re available here.

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